I have a good friend, let's call her Sandra. Sandra and I see each other a lot, our families are close, she and Nikki are also close.
Sandra is a nice person, she isn't unrealistic and is willing to give her opinion even when it is unpopular but she's just someone who is pleasant.
I write specifically about her because we have had two really interesting conversations recently that have really been gut check moments for me.
A gut check moment is defined as an evaluation or test of a person's resolve, commitment, or priorities, typically with respect to a particular course of action.
Let's get into these two moments and I'll tell you why they matter.
Sandra helps a lot with our work here in Descartes, but she is not a Christian. She proofreads sermons and helps evaluate tools which we currently use and are refining for the future. She should probably be paid around $20/hour for how she works. It's one of those moments, working out a sermon together, that brings me here.
Gut check moment 1:
We were reading over a sermon prepared in a series on the Sermon on the Mount. The goal of this series is to help people understand what a disciple of Jesus should look like, from the master himself.
There became a point, I think it was the section about divorce and adultery where Sandra looked at me and said, "So to be a Christian I have to believe that sin exists?"
This is a gut check moment for several reasons. One, for me, because one most look into the eyes of a friend, at their kitchen table, drinking their coffee and say... "yes".
So why does this matter so much? I mean, that should be a given right? Well, Jesus was serious about what separates us from God, even in some pretty uncomfortable situations. Because Jesus was also very gracious with people who were far from God... more gracious with them than he was with people who were welcoming the identity of "God follower."
In John 5, Jesus heals a man and before leaving him says, "stop sinning or something worse will happen to you." I've often wondered what that man thought of when he heard those words. How did he carry that with him? Was he afraid? Jesus certainly was announcing life, brining life and healing, but he also announced death. This dual announcement, one where hope is given in clarity, might not go over well in our Western pluralistic culture, but the Truth is eternal and I believe almost every person alive is searching for truth on some level. We must be comfortable with the feeling of saying that life is a better way than death. Apparently, some things are worse than being sick, or handicapped.
We need to learn how to be gracious with people who are hearing about Jesus for the first time and could get lost in all the details. We also need to learn how to be very clear with people when we talk about healthy relationships with God. What does that word mean (for example: sin)? What does that concept mean (for example: we are sinners)? Why or how is it beneficial for me to believe in the fullness of Jesus (and that DOES matter). Be clear with what we say, be sure and be full of love and grace.
Gut check moment 2:
We were again at the same place, around a kitchen table. Sandra looked at me and asked, "Are we just friends because you want me to believe in Jesus?" (A translation of what she said, in French).
There are times when I am quite open with my friends, Christian or not, about how and why we do what we do. The best way to church growth in my culture at this moment in time? Invite people to you table, feed them, and listen to them.
In his work, Polycentric Missiology, Allen Yeh talks about how we need a balance between the Great Commandment (Love the Lord with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself) and the Great Commission (Go and make disciples of all men and women). If we live just the commandment, we might forget the truly transformative power of the Gospel (that is to say that Jesus saves us). If we live by the commission, then we start to confuse the power of Jesus with our own sort of imperialism, seeking to foist Jesus on a throne by our own will.
He goes on to say that missions have changed very much in the last 200 years. We are coming out of the conquering / conquest age. Our vocabulary is changing. Our world is changing. Yeh talks about how moving out of this age politically has made a change in how we see and do missions.
I would say that we must come to peace with the idea of inviting people to Jesus, while at the same time resting in the love of Jesus.
Anyways.
This question of Sandra was a gut check moment.
Do I make friends just to win them to my side? Am I some sort of salesman, selling eternal tupperware and hoping that others will do the same?
I looked Sandra in the eyes and told her truth - no.
I am a friend because humans need friendship. Do I believe in what I say? Do I believe in the words I write and she cleans up? Absolutely. Do I believe it is the best way to live life? Yes. Am I sure that there are some eternal consequences? Yes. Am I friends with people just to convince them of that? No. I cannot be that. I must love people. I must work for the Master, Jesus. I must also abide in His goodness and love all while bringing my friends to the very same destination.