Let me confess one thing to you: I'm a planner. I don't mean with the day to day things, but with the big things. I planned out my entire college class track my very first semester. I did something similar in high school. (Both needed some revising along the way but that was ok. There was a plan.) I really like things I can dig into and plan out for several years. Maybe this was part of my love for school. And the main reason I haven't continued my schooling yet? I haven't felt comfortable with the time commitment vs how the rest of my life would potentially go. I like to think ahead. (Just don't ask what's for dinner.)
Oh to be sure, our current plans offer a timeline, which is great for me. One year at this, two for that. We have goals we have to hit within the next few months, applications to fill out and people to connect up with. But the biggest questions we often get are the ones there are no immediate answers to. "Where will you be doing your training for church planting? France, of course, but which town?" The answer is whatever place has an opening for us. It's not really up to us and we'll just have to go where we are sent. This will likely effect where we will help plant a church (probably close to where we're trained), so there's no answer to give for that either. Maybe it's good that neither of us sweat the details of life. If we know the direction we're headed and the gist of both what to expect and what will be expected of us, we're satisfied.
We don't even know what to expect for our lives in the immediate future and we're working on it, but we're not worried. God is the one who put us on this path, so we're trusting Him to show us the way. Psalm 18:28 states "For You light my lamp. The Lord my God illumines my darkness." So while we don't always have answers, that doesn't necessarily translate to fear and worry. I recently heard Craig Groeschel's definition of fear and I really like it. He said, "Fear is placing your faith in the what-ifs." He followed that up with this next statement: "What you fear reveals what you value the most and what you fear reveals where you trust God the least."
Jesus said, “And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span?” He also said, "I will be with you always." Hebrews 13 includes one of God's promises where He has told us “I will never desert you nor will I ever forsake you." It continues with "The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?"
We never would have started down this path if we didn't trust God. It can be a daunting thing to move to a country where you don't speak the language well or at all and raise a child there to boot. It's sensible to have concerns and of course we wonder where we'll end up and what the future might hold. But concerns aren't the same as worrisome fears. We're not placing our faith in troublesome what-ifs. We're not doing this alone. God is in charge and we're simply following His lead.
- Nikki
(All scripture verses taken from the NASB. Craig Groeschel's quotes came from his "Soul Detox" DVD.)